


Mind the Ice

by Nightpounce



Category: Guardians of Childhood - Fandom, NDU, Nightmare Dork University - Fandom, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: M/M, Pitch no! children are not pets!, Proto the nanny, Toddler!Jack, alternative universe, babysitting au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:31:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightpounce/pseuds/Nightpounce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What might have been if the Black family had met Jack Sickle in a very different way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK! So, Nightmare Dorks University is an au based around the Wangst Comics drawn by ask-pitchs-wardrobe on Tumblr (http://ask-pitchs-wardrobe.tumblr.com/) - you really should go check them out right now (SO GOOD!).
> 
> Mira-eyeteeth helpfully compiled a blog just for this au and the adorable arseholes that make it up (Kozmotis Pitchiner, Piki Black, Pitch Black, Proto and Jack Sickle). You can find the history for this AU here;  
> http://mira-eyeteeth.tumblr.com/NDU
> 
> This is a very loose AU, people tend to pick and choose what they want to be canon and what they don't. Be warned, this AU has a tendency to eat people (it's all mira's fault i got dragged in!!) and it's full of amazingly talented artists and writers. It also includes Proto's pet taxidermied ferret.....which he leaves in various places around the shared apartment, claiming Mr Pickles likes to watch. The others are less than impressed by this behaviour >>
> 
> .....................................
> 
> I adore tiny Jack so I thought it might be worth trying something a little different and seeing what happened if he met the Black family when he was even more tiny, adorable and helpless.

Idiots. He was surrounded by idiots! Was it too much to ask for some talent? Why was he condemned to work with amateurs whilst his brother strolled through life, happily avoiding the metaphorical potholes Pitch inevitably stumbled into?! Maybe he’d kicked someone in a past life or not fed an appropriate amount of puppies. Whatever he’d done, it must have been fairly awful to warrant this level of suffering. He just hoped he’d enjoyed it, whatever it was!

Clinging to Pitchiner’s waist as the bike weaved between two cars before taking a corner at breakneck speed – yes, hello road safety rules! Come back tomorrow, we have no need of you today – Pitch growled, yelling to be heard over the engine.

“You are not in my will!”

Silence. Maybe he hadn’t been loud enough.

“I SAID-”

“You know, most people would just say “Slow Down.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Nope, pretty sure you just accused me of attempted murder.” Pitchiner sounded far too amused as he changed lanes, slowing slightly to turn into their street.

“What else would you call it?!”

“A charitable act by a long-suffering, good Samaritan.”

“Long suff- What the hell would you know about suffering?!”

Rolling his eyes behind his visor, Pitchiner slowed the bike further, bumping onto the sidewalk and pulling up in his designated parking space in front of the apartment. No way was he parking his baby on the street. He hadn’t had Sera very long – he was still mourning the loss of Sasha – but he wasn’t running the risk of some idiot backing into her.

“Considering my current life choices, I like to think of myself as something of an expert.” He straightened, killing the engine before reaching up to pull off his helmet.

“HAH, you’re not the one that just spent four hours attempting to corral a bunch of humanoid carp into some semblance of order!”

The mutterings continued as Pitch removed his own helmet, thrusting it at his smirking boyfriend. 

“It’s ridiculous! How am I supposed to produce anything resembling quality?! I’ve seen dead things with more acting ability.” He stalked for the door, Pitchiner following with the helmets.

“Oh, that harsh! Maybe it’s a test of your skills?”

“My skills have never been in question!”

Pitchiner paused to appreciate the view as Pitch took the stairs before him.

“True, I can attest to that.”

Pitch glared balefully down at his leering boyfriend.

“Aw come on Babe. Tell ya what, why don’t I help you unwind when we get inside?”

Pulling the apartment keys from his pocket, Pitch unlocked the front door and pushed it open, Tarminator’s happy barks welcoming them home.

“Can you go for five minutes without…” 

“Without what?” Pitchiner stepped inside, pushing the door closed and moving forward to drop the helmets on one end of the couch. 

“Tarminator! Where are ya buddy? How’s my good-“

Following Pitch’s line of sight, he froze, golden eyes locking with terrified blue.

“What the hell?!”

The tiny, white-haired boy currently kneeling on the living room floor whimpered, shrinking in on himself as the excited pug wiggled free of his arms to scamper across the floor and paw at his master’s ankles.

Pitch closed his eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Pitchiner…”

“What?!”

“What did I say about pets?”

“Pet- what the Fu-uuhh I mean…it’s a kid Pitch, not a pet!”

“I don’t care, you’re not keeping it! Take it back where it came from.”

“It’s not mine! Are you little guy?” Pitchiner stepped forward, staring down at the child who scrambled up in alarm, bare feet slipping on the carpet as he backed away without breaking eye-contact.

“Aw come-on pipsqeak, I’m not gonna hurt ya.” Tarminator continued to growl playfully, pawing at Pitchiner’s shoes as the boy sidled towards the end of the couch, small hands lost in the long sleeves of an overly large blue hoodie. 

“Hmph, clearly the boy is not a complete idiot.” Pitch crossed his arms, staring down his nose at the child whose gaze flicked his way before locking back on Pitchiner. 

“Pssh please, kids love me.” He crouched; holding one hand up placating as the boy flinched and whined, reaching out to ruffle Tarminator’s fur with the other.

“He’s just shy, right?” Blue eyes watched him warily. “Seriously squirt, how’d you get in here? You’re lucky we’re the ones that found you…no telling what might have happened if Proto had got you.”

Pitch huffed and strode forward. “This is ridiculous, just grab him so we can-“

The child yelped, bolting away from the couch and down the corridor.

“Fuck! No kid, not that way! Pitch, grab him! What if he ends up in Proto’s room?!”

Pitchiner scrambled up, vaulting over the end of the couch and skidding into the corridor as a flash of blue, white and brown slipped inside one of the rooms.

“Now look what you did!” 

“I fail to see how this is my fault.” Pitch joined him in the corridor before Proto’s door.

“Yeah, you only spooked the little brat…now he’s in there!” Pitchiner gestured at the closed door “Poor thing’s probably been poisoned.”

Squaring his shoulders, the larger boy stepped forward to open the door only to freeze as it swung inwards. 

Proto smiled at the twin expressions of shock, adjusting the trembling child in the crook of his arm as the other two stumbled back. 

“Ah, you’re home.” Long fingers carded gently through soft, white hair as a small hand fisted in the front of his sweater. “I see you’ve already met Jack.” 

“Proto, what-“

“I was bored recently, so I decided to try something new.”

Pitchiner gaped “So you took up kidnapping?!” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, the apartment is far too central for something like that, too many potential witnesses. I’m a nanny.”

Proto leant to the side, plucking something from a shelf before stepping out into the corridor and closing his bedroom door.

Pitchiner and Pitch stared in horror as Proto presented the boy clinging to him with a small, crocheted ferret.

“A NANNY!? Some parent actually handed their child over to you? Didn’t they want him anymore?!”

“Jack hasn’t been coping well with the recent death of his sister and his parents can’t afford any more time off work, a nanny was the best solution.”

Jack swallowed, leaning harder against Proto, who stroked his hand down his back soothingly.

“Come along Jack, I think it’s time I make you that smoothie I promised.”

Proto headed for the kitchen, Jack’s blue eyes peeking over his shoulder briefly.

“That poor kid is doomed…”

Pitch nodded absently before straightening.

“Just a minute….Proto! You aren’t seriously proposing to watch the child here are you?! The rule was no more pets!”


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Pitch saw Proto’s newest hobby, the little boy was perched on the kitchen bench, a tall glass held carefully in small hands as worried blue eyes watched the occasional bubble break on the surface of an off-green liquid.

Pitch blinked owlishly, eyes swinging to check the numbers displayed on the stove before swinging back to the small figure now watching him warily from his spot beside the coffee maker.

Damn it. 

“Jack.”

Shoulders started to hunch as Pitch adjusted his dressing gown, stepping out of the hallway and into the kitchen. No sign of Proto, where had that bastard gone now? Honestly, Pitch had asked him not to leave his belongings lying around! It was hard enough getting any work done in the apartment as it was without having to clear off the work spaces first.

“…lo...”

Startled, Pitch jerked back around to stare at Jack, who responded to the scrutiny by gripping his glass tighter and staring at the floor. Well, that was…strange. Jack rarely spoke to anyone save Proto and Tarminator, not that the pug really counted as a proper conversation partner. Since their first meeting, Pitchiner had made it his personal mission to win the child’s trust, apparently offended that Jack could be terrified of him and not of Proto. Pitch had been happy to leave them to it, working on his laptop and ignoring any of the resulting noise as Pitchiner tried to coax Jack from his latest hiding place. No doubt the lumbering oaf would be annoyed to know that Jack has spoken to Pitch first…perhaps the boy had some taste after all. 

“Right. Yes. Hello.” Pitch stepped around the counter, standing in front of Jack and crossing his arms as the boy leaned back slightly. They stared at each other for a minute in silence.

“Well? Are you going to move or not? Honestly I haven’t got all day and I want my drink!”

Jack made a small, distressed sound as his eyes darted around the kitchen, lingering on the empty benches before flicking down to rest on his glass. Hesitating briefly, the child held the drink out to Pitch, blinking in confusion as the older boy recoiled in alarm.

“Ah, no. No, thank you. That’s not what I…I just want coffee…with that…” He gestured at the machine sitting innocently on the bench, wincing when Jack looked from Pitch, to the machine and back again.

“Look, no it’s alright just…here. I’ll just-” pulling the oven mitts from their hook on the fridge door, Pitch slipped them on before stepping forward quickly, gripping the boy’s waist and sliding him along the bench “there, right, yes.”

He shared a traumatised look with the still-frozen boy before spinning back to the coffee machine, discarding the mitts and busying himself with the coffee beans.

Minutes later, pointedly ignoring the child still sitting on the bench sipping at his smoothie, Pitch sat at the kitchen table, nursing a large mug of strong black coffee and waiting for his laptop to finish booting up. 

“Ah, kindred spirits.”

Coffee sloshed as Pitch cursed, releasing his mug and grabbing a rag from the back of the chair beside him to mop up the spill.

“Proto! Where were you?! I’ve told you not to leave you things lying….what is that?” 

“Craft supplies for Jack. I was asked to assist with one of the lab classes today, there was a mishap with some of the chemicals and the teacher needed some assistance with a make-up class. A number of seniors will be attending.”

Proto moved to the front room, carefully setting down an armful of paper, plastic sheets, boxes and books before stepping back into the kitchen and scooping Jack, still clutching his half-empty glass, from the bench.

“I’d be happy to take Jack with me. I think he quite enjoyed looking at the specimen jars on our last visit.” Proto ruffled the boy’s hair, plucking the glass from his hands and setting it on the coffee table before placing Jack on the ground and picking up a large plastic sheet “Sadly, the teacher has requested Jack be left at home. I fail to see the issue, the beaker was clean and it’s not Jack’s fault the other students couldn’t tell the difference between formaldehyde and apple juice but, there you have it.”

The plastic sheet was shaken out and laid on the carpet, Proto steering Jack into the middle and kneeling beside him. Placing the white paper nearby, he reached into a box, passing jack a hand-full of brushes before laying out a number of paper plates, tubes of paint resting on each. Pitch stared in horror as Jack began to unscrew the lids, carefully squirting paint onto the plates as his nanny retrieved an empty jar from another box, standing and moving into the kitchen to fill it with water.

“Wait a minute! Proto, he can’t… he’s not allowed to play with paints inside! What about the carpet?! Do you have any idea how badly paint stains?”

“Mmm, about as badly as coffee on a white shirt I would say.” Proto glanced at the rag in Pitch’s hand, carrying the now-full jar back to Jack.

“What has coffee…” Pitch paused, lifting the “rag” to eye-level.

“Oh dear…isn’t that one of his favourite shirts?”

“How should I know? It’s hardly my fault if he leaves his clothes scattered about!” Scrunching the shirt into a ball, Pitch stormed to the bin, hurling the stained material inside and slamming the lid dramatically. It was just a shirt! Pitchiner probably wouldn’t even notice it was missing! And if he did, well, then maybe he’d start listening about not leaving his stuff lying around!

“I’m sure he’ll agree.” The taller boy moved down the corridor, vanishing into his room but leaving the door open. Pitch stayed in the hallway, arms folded defensively across his chest.

“Stop changing the subject! Painting inside is-”

“Perfectly harmless. These plastic sheets are highly durable and perfect for catching accidental spills. I’ve never had one rip either, no matter what was wrapped in them.” Proto reappeared, shoulder bag settled on his shoulder and scarf looped around his neck.

Pitch blinked “But…wait….who’s going to watch…you can’t leave a child unsupervised!”

“Were you going out?”

“What? No! But I’m-”

“Excellent! Then you won’t be unsupervised.”

Proto crouched at the edge of the plastic sheet, pulling Jack’s crocheted ferret from his bag and placing it on top of the book pile.

“Jack, your snack is in the fridge and I’ll be back in a few hours. Do you have what you need?”

The little boy glanced around at his paints and books, gripping his brush tightly before looking up at his looming nanny and nodding.

“Wonderful. When I come back you can help me make another batch of muffins.”

Unfurling from his crouch and moving to the front door, he paused.

“Incidentally, if something did happen to get stained, I’d simply use the spray bottle in the laundry to remove it. It’s my own mixture, 100% biodegradable and very effective.” 

Pitch glared as the door closed, furious that the other had just lumped him with babysitting duty and annoyed that he’d been unable to set his appalling scarf on fire with the power of his mind. Hmph, maybe the bastard would garrotte himself with it instead…there was always hope!

Spinning around, he pinned his tiny charge with a pointed look.

“Here is how this shall work.” Wide blue eyes stared up at him.

“No paint anywhere except on that plastic, understood?”

Nod. Nod.

“You stay on your mat; I will stay at my table.”

Nod. Nod.

“You will not disturb my peace, I shall not disturb yours.”

Nod. Nod.

“Good. Now that we have ground rules established…”

Pitch moved back to the bin, lifting the lid and extracting the dirty shirt. Pausing in the hallway, he glanced back, Jack freezing in the act of dipping his brush into one of the paints.

“We break in one hour for snacks and to compare notes.”

“…yes sir…”

Slightly mollified by his new student’s attitude, Pitch went in search of the stain remover.


End file.
